Tough Week

Well weight update first, was up 0.2 on the 23rd, but then down 1.8 on the 1st - so I'm down a total of about 6.6 now from January. That's good.

The running is just so off and on for me now. Some days I feel great and the runs are no big deal, and then others I feel like I"m just starting out again. It all really came to a head this past Saturday. Last Saturday was a 5 miler, and although I finished about 10 minutes behind everyone else - I ran the whole way and finished in just over an hour. About the same time as when I run it on the treadmill, except that we had to go up the big hill at the very very end, so I almost keeled over. Then came this weekend's run. The course had us going up the small hill twice. I made it about 50 minutes or so into the run and just couldn't move anymore. My legs felt like two steel rods that didn't want to move. I ran on and off for a bit, and then walked the last part with a "strong finish" of a jog as I came into the starting area again. At that point I found out that our 5 mile run was actually about 5.8. Of course, Mr. E told me that I really made about the 5 miles running before walking, but that wasn't the point. It was the first time that I hadn't finished. It had been a tough week at work and I'm sure there are a number of reasons and excuses, but it just hurt my psyche. Up to that point I could say - I may be last, but I never give up and I always ran the whole way. That isn't the case now.

Saturday spilled over into my confidence in the following run on Monday. Again, 5 miles was called for. As I stepped onto that treadmill I was sure I wasn't going to make it, there was no way I could get through it. I'm just not cut out for running distances. The marathon running was a pipe dream, there's just no way. But I started. And I kept going. It was tough about mile 3, but mile 4 wasn't so bad, and then I was through. I was sweaty and tired, but I'd finished. It was a huge boost to my confidence. Today is a tempo run - so I'll only do about 3.3 miles. Thursday is the first time it calls for us to run 6 miles. I am still a bit worried about that milestone, but making through Monday's 5 miles makes me think I might make it through those 6.

I'm pretty sure I'll be last again on Saturday, when we have to do another 6 miles. Hopefully it won't involve 2 hills. I'm thinking of brining my ipod along just in case I need some distraction while running alone. Here's hoping that I have more Mondays and less Saturdays (that is probably the only time someone has asked for that!)